An Open Letter of Resignation to AhoyWorld

[Copey]

My Resignation.

 

First let me say this is not a decision I have reached lightly, nor without great turmoil; it has taken me a considerable effort to reach this decision. If you don’t want to read further into this (but I’d suggest you do); the short version is that I am resigning from all AhoyWorld administrative responsibilities with immediate effect.

 

There have been many great times spent on this server for me, at this point I easily have 1000+ hours of Arma 3 invested with AhoyWorld. I remember the days when I first came to the server, fresh out of a milsim unit, and looking for something just as serious, but more chilled out. EU3, as it was then, was just what I wanted. Back in what I can only describe as it’s heyday back then, 3 was one of the best environments to game in; full of fun, approachable and ultimately very caring people. You had a laugh, but you got the job done while you were at it - you would fight tooth and nail for your team-mates.
In contrast: if I were to compare this to the current environment of AWE, I find myself reaching a stark conclusion - it is nothing close to that now. The AWE we all know now is not one true to the original spirit of EU3. 

 

Not being of the original spirit of EU3 is a crucial issue to me; for now over a year I have been part of the team at the top of AWE. We came into being at a time of great uncertainty for EU3. We worked hard, extremely hard to arrest the freefall the community was facing at that time - and we did just that. In the short term we even enabled the server to prosper - player numbers went up. We managed to start rebuilding. But something went awry along the path, it has led us to the place we find ourselves now. A server where everything has been done with the best intentions, done for the right reasons, but not yielded the right results.

 

I set myself the personal goal of redeveloping EU3, making it into something better than what it had been before steering committee came to be. I wanted, and still do, to leave AWE in a position of strength, a position much better than the one it had been in. I have come to the realisation that this is something I have ultimately failed to achieve. And I hold myself personally accountable for that, for right or for wrong, for better or for worse. I have reached a point in life where I feel I have given everything there is for me to give to AW. Every time we have reached a milestone with AWE, I have known that we can do better, do more. This is perhaps why my goal has proven so elusive. However, the will to push forward, to do more and be more is no longer with me. I find myself more going through the motions, than actively driving myself to do better. I have lost the motivation to continue to fight forward. I must confess that I have been carrying on for some time knowing I perhaps needed a break, but I’m a give it your all, or not at all type of guy. I tried to take some time off during a holiday in the summer; it didn’t go well. Let’s just say there was a heated discussion amongst the staff team. Ultimately I felt that I had to do my part, step up to the plate as part of the team. That stopped me from taking the time away I probably needed to. It speaks to a larger issue within the staff team at AhoyWorld; but I’ll come to that further in.

 

Amentes made me aware of sunk cost fallacy, and this pretty much describes my feelings towards the situation I find myself in, perfectly. I have poured my heart and soul into AW, often to the detriment of other things in my life - but that’s the type of person I am, and I make no apologies for that. It is this total commitment, and the ultimately unattainable goal that I believe has left me in the position of carrying on now, for only the reason I have put so much into AW. That’s not something that is healthy, it is not something I should be doing to myself. It is not something I can continue to do any longer. The stress and weight of the responsibility that I hold is not something I can continue on with; not because of the expectations of others, but because of my own. Without some things seriously changing I cannot continue to give my all, give what I feel you, the community, deserve. And to me, that is not on.

If AWE were to be taken in a new, renewed direction; then I would most definitely wish to continue to fight on. I feel that if we were to return to some of the original beliefs of EU3 then we could, and would, progress forward. I am afraid that nothing will change without a radical shift in thinking though, and this is perhaps the straw that broke the camel's back. Coming to the realisation, that no matter how hard I push, some things will just not happen.

As for the staff team; there are elements of it that just don’t work at the moment. It is in a position of turmoil, where there is very little cohesion, and many divisions. I shall not name names, because that is not something I should do. However, I do believe in honesty and transparency, and so you, the community, should know about it. Those wishing to join the team should be critically aware of what they are getting into. I mean this with no malice, but instead a fundamental respect for those people who wish to step up, and do what is necessary.

 

I would like to pay homage to those past and present who have put every effort into EU3, now AWE; thank them for everything they have done. I would also like to say thanks in advance for everything that those who will follow me do. Without the dedication of so many people AWE would not be where it is now, and it will not go where it may go either. 

In the end I hold myself personally accountable for failings here at AW. Because I know I should do better, but I can’t, not right now, and I don’t know if I will be able to again.

I promise you this, I will do my best to stay around AW as a regular player, to push for change as a regular player. I care deeply for this community, and writing this has been one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in a long, long time. I’ve had to stop 3 times now - and I confess, every time has been because I have teared up pretty badly. I suppose, I should probably finish this off with an apology.

 

I am truly very sorry for not doing better by you AhoyWorld.

Best Regards and Goodbye,

Copey
 

[GrandBravo]

Considering the amount of work and commitment you put in AW, you are one of the last persons that should apologize...

[SiegeSix]

For Copey, you've worked hard and you rocked hard. 

 

You rised to the top and this might be the downfall.

But Copey... this won't be the end - I must certainly hope.

 

You shall not be sorry, not at all, we've always looked up to you, but you've probably haven't noticed since we're too busy backtalking you. About how awesome you are, how funny you are, how intense you can be. You've always been loved on EU3... 

 

So we beg you, stay with us...

 

Yours sincere,

SiegeSix - The scrub in the back

[Lindi]

With the amount of work you'we put in, even in the limited knowledge of a new player like myself, you Copey really are the last person that should apologize.

I also hope that a step down in responsibilities will bring the joy of the game back for you, fun is what it should be after all. 

[Origins]

Copey, I've known you for donkeys years on here, and seen you go from a puny player to a damn good member of the Ahoy world staff team. It is a great loss to the team that you are leaving, however your wish is yours to have and myself and the staff team will respect that whole heartedly. 

 

Best of luck being a scrub, and keep on ranting ??

[Miczils]

I think I can say for everyone else here, you will be missed. Looking at all you've done, I don't think there's a need to apologize for anything.

 

[Minipily]

You're the last person that should apologise. I think I speak for everyone when I say that we commend you for your efforts and that you made a damn good staff member.

 

EU3 is a touchy subject at heart and I could not agree more, honestly, in what you've said about it. As someone with ties back to EU3's very first development thought process and essentially day one play (came second day it came out because lol modpack), I can clearly see how things have changed, for better and indeed for worse.

 

At the end of the day, EU3 is what it is now, I don't think it's got much a chance of changing, hell, with the amount of work you've managed to sink your heart into I think nothing more could be done. But there is still enjoyment to be had out there. Myself, Jochem and others in hind sight have seen this coming since Gauntlet 33 at least, when EU3 was starting to have its downfall but I cannot stress enough that though EU3 will never be as good as the glory days of Patrol Ops and further on after, there's still good times to be had.

 

A community is what makes a community run. If I may speak freely, the choice of scrapping the democracy votes is what killed EU3 or at least it's glory days. Now I find that the community has no camaraderie and folks are willing to be spiteful and stab people in the backs to try and climb on the higher ups backs so that they may get what they want when after all, a community is about the want of the many.

 

Myself and others have tried to do what we could to help but we fear that past reputation leaves us barren from trust.

 

All in all, EU3 is in no shape or form as fun as it was and it is a damn damn damn shame that players who have joined in the recent year or two could not see the light of what we all had. But, the server still lives on and I'm contempt with that for now.

 

I think I speak for everyone when I'd get on my knees and beg you to stay but it is indeed your decision and you've done enough

 

Copey,

 

Thank you, best wishes to what you choose to do now and hopefully we'll talk again soon.

 

Yours sincerely,

 

Mini (ugh... that guy)

[Vlk]

Ty for the honest public post copey. As a day 1 player as mini calls it, and also a staff member until recently(a lot of u have been asking about that) I have had the same opinion in awe/eu3, players makes the atmosphere. Yes, eu3 was something else back in the day, but I'm eager as to where stiletto and the Canadian captain been the ship. Tl;tr: ty for ur honesty and ur hours put in. Vlk

[Fabs]

o7

[Blue-958-]

Gutted that I’ve only just seen this and even more so that I haven’t been around to see you off. Best of luck with whatever you choose to get up to and will hopefully see you around whenever I get back to my pc.

Blue