In the north of England. Ideally someone who can take my kids for extended durations (while I get some serious Invade & Annex time in). A person with a strong constitution, superhuman stamina, and who has eyes in the back of their head. Somebody with few, or no, aspirations in life, comfortable with constant negative reinforcement, and a high immunity to childhood maladies.
PTSD is guarenteed.
Free coffee in abundance.
(See you on the battlefield.)